Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
