how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we're making bets on your personal life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
