you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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