Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
