a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The ass gains better be worth it
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