I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
