Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
