porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
