Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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