just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
