dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
love makes seman taste better
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So vagazzling was a success
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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