Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
