somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
