hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
