Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
