I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
