You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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