Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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