am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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