So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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