i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize