Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Me too!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
