Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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