The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so let's talk penis.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.