so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?