five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
