she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I deserve this hangover.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
