just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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