it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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