i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
