I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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