why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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