Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Randomize
