Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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