I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
