Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You work out of a Hotel?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
