Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
