my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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