On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No subtext here. People are naked.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
