Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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