we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
