I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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