return my video game
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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