I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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