well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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