if i died would you start the facebook group?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
