I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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