Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
