i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
