whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
