just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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