We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.