i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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