So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.