the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
