Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants