What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize