I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
FUCK WHALES
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