Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
