That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
