listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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