My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
