We won't sleep together?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
well you can't waste a boner
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
