I think I am morally bankrupt
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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