I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
