he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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