It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
