I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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